Creepy old white men who dine at my restaurant: I should be able to smack you the fuck up for staring me up and down every time I come to your table. And making excuses for me to come around is not fucking cute. I hope the cell phones glued to your ears somehow melt your penises off so you’ll think with something other than your pathetic dicks.

Dude legit got made at me for not knowing how to pronounce the name of a dish. After I told him I wasn’t Thai, he was disappointed, touched my shoulder and told me to put in a different order. I am your waitress, not a foreign doll who will cater to your sexual desires, you scum bag.